What Should You Do When Dropping Your Child Off at Kindergarten? – Is It Normal to Feel Guilty?

“My little one has been going to kindergarten for some time now. The place is safe for him, the teachers behave wonderfully, and the children in his group are very sociable and friendly. However, he still cries every morning when I leave him at kindergarten.” Do you recognize yourself in these words? Do you also feel guilty when you leave him crying, and is the separation always difficult?

We have to acknowledge that many children cry when they are left at kindergarten, and behind each of these little ones there is a mother who leaves for work with a heavy heart.

Emotional analysis:

From an emotional point of view, it can be challenging, but this process is essential for the child’s development. Through this experience, they gain confidence, independence, and strength. Over time, they will show that they can manage without their mother’s constant presence. It is not healthy to hold children in our arms forever. In time, this can become problematic both for them and for us.

If you approach starting kindergarten with fear and negative expectations, there is a high chance that these will come true. Your child senses and responds to your emotions, behaving according to your expectations. This is a principle highlighted by Jesper Juul in his book.

The feeling of guilt.

If you feel guilty, your child will perceive this feeling and understand that you do not trust your choice of kindergarten. However, when you are confident that kindergarten is beneficial for both of you, and you leave them calmly and with determination, the separation will be easier.

It is normal for some children to have difficulties even after a year of kindergarten, preferring the comfort of home. However, this does not mean that it is healthier. We love them very much, and we, as adults, make decisions for their well-being, even though they do not have the ability to make such decisions themselves.

Repair his sadness and frustration in the evening by being there for him. He may need to express his longing while being held in your arms. Give him time and space to express his emotions, then reconnect, play together, and strengthen your bond. This is a way for him to learn how to manage difficult situations and develop self-esteem.

An alternative could be involving the father or grandparents in taking him to kindergarten in order to reduce the emotional burden for everyone.

After all, no matter how difficult it may seem to put into practice, try not to feel guilty when you leave your child crying at kindergarten. This process is natural, it is part of the stages of healthy development, and it will bring many benefits in the long term.