Children and the Fear of Failure – How a Private School Teaches Them to Believe in Themselves
Fear of failure is a challenge that many children face, and it can affect their emotional development and self-confidence. Although fear of the unknown and of consequences is normal at a young age, it is very important for parents and educators to provide children with the necessary tools to overcome this fear. Otherwise, children will not know how to learn from the inevitable failures they will encounter as adults. Especially in a private school like ours, where we have created an educational environment tailored to each child’s needs, children benefit from continuous emotional support that helps them build confidence and learn to view failure as an opportunity for growth.
The importance of learning from failure for developing self-confidence.
Instead of perceiving failure as an ending, a “disaster,” as we say in Romanian, children should learn to treat it as an opportunity for learning and growth. According to the research of Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University, developing a “growth mindset” is essential for overcoming the fear of failure¹.
This means encouraging children to understand that their ability to learn and develop is not finite, nor is it something fixed, but rather something that can improve through effort and perseverance. Thus, instead of becoming discouraged when facing failure, children will learn to use their mistakes as a necessary step on their path toward success.
How does a private school promote a positive learning environment
Another crucial factor in overcoming the fear of failure is the educational environment. A private school, through its smaller structure, closer connection to the child, and personalized learning methods, can provide a secure setting where children feel supported to take risks and make mistakes without fear of being judged.
For example, in our private school, children receive individual attention from teachers, which helps them overcome adaptation challenges and improve their skills at their own pace. Studies show that educational environments that promote self-confidence and calculated personal risk-taking better support the development of a growth mindset².
The importance of emotional support from parents and teachers.
In supporting children, parents and teachers are the most suitable people to provide them with an emotionally stable environment. When children feel supported by those around them, they are more willing to face challenges and overcome their fear of failure. If you want to learn how to help your child recognize and better manage their emotions, read our article about how to effectively develop emotional intelligence in children..
Studies show that when children in a private school are encouraged to talk about their emotions and receive constructive feedback, their confidence in their own abilities increases significantly. Parents and teachers who encourage children during difficult moments have the right approach for developing healthy self-esteem. Children learn that failure is not something to be ashamed of, but a natural part of growing and maturing³.
Techniques for managing the fear of failure in an educational setting.
To help children overcome the fear of failure, teaching techniques that promote resilience and perseverance are needed. Among these techniques are setting small, achievable goals that allow for continuous progress. In addition, it is essential to avoid comparing children, as each one learns at their own pace.
Angela Duckworth, an expert in psychology, emphasizes the importance of perseverance (“grit”) as a key factor for long-term success. She suggests teaching children not to become discouraged by their first failure and to continue trying, with the confidence that success comes through sustained effort⁴. In a private school, these strategies are applied by recognizing and appreciating children’s effort.
This is why learning from failure and building confidence in one’s own abilities are among the first foundations in children’s development. An encouraging educational environment, such as the one offered by a private school, only supports this evolution. By developing a growth mindset, receiving emotional support from parents and teachers, and using effective techniques for managing the fear of failure, children learn to view failures as necessary and natural steps on their journey through life.
- Dweck, Carol. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House, 2006.
- McCluskey, Neal. The Case Against Public Schooling. Washington, D.C.: Cato Institute, 2017.
- Boudreau, Barbara A. The Power of Positive Parenting. New York: HarperCollins, 2001.
- Duckworth, Angela. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. New York: Scribner, 2016.
